Honest
by Suzy Q
Summary: This is a piece I worked on for school that might interest y'all. A bit of a commentary on why Christians are so annoying when they preach. r&r!!!


I still find it amazing that you can know everything and know nothing. I learned that two   
  
years ago on a trip to Florida. And as I sat there reading a book that had changed my life, I was   
  
too amazed to do anything but cry. I was always good at everything. Top of my class at school,   
  
and even more so at church. I can still hear the groans from the other Sunday school students as   
  
I raised my hand to answer yet another question before the teacher was given a moment to   
  
finish asking it. If there was ever a prank to be pulled, anything that could get a kid in trouble,   
  
everyone knew better than to ask me. I would never do it. I might even tell an adult about it. I   
  
was a "goody-two-shoes". Miss Perfect. I had religion down pat. Religion was my middle   
  
name. You could have asked me anything - "What were the names of Daniel's three friends?",   
  
"What was the name of Adam and Eve's son named in remembrance of Abel?", "Who was   
  
Nebuchadnezzar?" - I knew them all. I had been trained by the best, my grandmother who, last   
  
I spoke to her, had read the Bible cover to cover twenty-six times. There was only one thing   
  
that everyone had forgotten to explain to me - why did Jesus have to die?  
  
Sure, if someone had asked me, I could have come up with something really quick.   
  
"Uh…Jesus died for us." I knew nothing of the wages of sin; nothing of the love of God; nothing   
  
of the choice Jesus made. If someone had told me that God didn't get mad at me when I did   
  
bad things, I would have thought that person was from some cult. I could almost see God   
  
frowning at me as I lied about my homework to my teachers. I thought the only way to pay for   
  
that lie was by being really sorry and telling the truth. I didn't know that I didn't have to do   
  
anything. As long as I went to church every Sunday, I'd be going to heaven. Or would I? I   
  
would think, but the moment of doubt would quickly be rubbed out. Religion would surely get   
  
me into heaven. I had been told that all my life. I couldn't doubt it, or else God would get mad   
  
at me.   
  
It went on this way. My tenth birthday came and went; Twelfth; Thirteenth… then a   
  
stirring. It was my soul. It was ready to jump out. I began listening to a tape my mom found   
  
buried in my dad's office - Kids' Church, volume 2. My soul burst. I listened to words my spirit   
  
longed to say. Yes, God loved me. I no longer merely repeated it in my head - I felt it. Deep   
  
down in my soul. When I was sad, praising God would heal me. When I felt depressed and   
  
broken, God flew beneath my spirit and lifted me up on eagles' wings. I finally knew what it   
  
was all about. Not facts, not the outside - all the things I had diligently learned in my mind   
  
became feelings felt deep within me. There was no longer a nagging voice saying what if God   
  
isn't real?, now all I could hear was the strong Holy Spirit singing to my soul, be still and   
  
know that I am God…God told me, without words, that Religion - sitting in a pew every   
  
Sunday, dressed up, memorizing scriptures, learning facts, and trying to be good -- was a black   
  
pit of deception. God told me, but I couldn't phrase it. If you asked me what the key to my new   
  
happiness in Christ was, I couldn't explain it. I tried at least a hundred times. It didn't work. I   
  
didn't even understand it. All I knew was that I was different now, and everyone had to know.   
  
So, I tried evangelizing. Not an easy quest - if I didn't understand what had happened to me,   
  
how could I explain it to anyone else.  
  
I don't hold a cultic idolization to the book that finally explained what had happened to   
  
me. It's not even the epiphany of Christian faith. I only hold it dear because the author knew   
  
what I was feeling. He had been lead to write the book by the Holy Spirit, and it holds   
  
convicting power, as any Holy-Spirit-Filled book does. The name of the book is The Gift For   
  
All People by Max Lucado, and it finally put into words what I had been trying to for so long.   
  
And it taught me the true story of Jesus. The story of salvation - the impossibility of man   
  
reaching God, even through "goodness" and religious rites; the way paved by the man from   
  
Nazareth; the only way to God through Jesus. I knew that works couldn't save me. I knew that   
  
although there are thousands of routes to Hell, there was only one to God. That God cared so   
  
much that He sent His only Son while we were still sinners. No one would want to die for an   
  
honest man, much less me. But still, God heard my cries, I was lost without Him, and He didn't   
  
want me lost. And He could have decided not to do it. The cross was not a last-minute decision   
  
to fix a botched-up plan. Jesus knew it right from the beginning, and although He could have   
  
turned His back, could have never left the safety of anonymity in the carpenter's shop, He did it.   
  
Why?  
  
And God couldn't turn His back on you. He couldn't because He saw you, and one look at you   
  
was all it took to convince Him. Right there in the middle of a world which isn't fair. He saw you cast into a   
  
river of life you didn't request. He saw you betrayed by those you love. He saw you with a body which gets   
  
sick and a heart which grows weak.   
  
He saw you in your own garden of gnarled trees and sleeping friends. He saw you staring into the pit   
  
of your own failures and the mouth of your own grave. He saw you in you Garden of Gethsemane -- and He   
  
didn't want you to be alone.  
  
He wanted you to know that he has been there, too. He knows what it's like to be plotted against. He   
  
knows what it's like to be confused. He knows what it's like to be torn between two desires. He knows what   
  
it's like to smell the stench of Satan. And, perhaps most of all, He knows what it's like to beg God to change   
  
His mind and to hear God say so gently, but firmly, "No."  
  
For that is what God said to Jesus. And Jesus accepted the answer. At some moment during the   
  
midnight hour an angel or mercy came over the weary body of the Man in the garden. Jesus stood, the   
  
anguish gone from His eyes. His heart will fight no more.  
  
The battle has been won. The sign of conquest? Jesus at peace in the olive trees.  
  
On the eve of the cross, Jesus made His decision. He would rather go to hell for you than go to   
  
heaven without you.  
  
(From The Gift for All People, "He Saw You")  
  
Once again, I felt His Spirit fill me. As I read this section I saw those scenes in my life.   
  
We've all had those times, "…staring into the pit of your own failures and the mouth of your   
  
own grave…". They have stood looming before me…but God was there!  
  
I don't know if I ever felt the urgency to tell others stronger than that day. I can't not tell   
  
someone. Because - someone told me! If no one had told me, I'd still be lost and alone. I'd still   
  
be staring into that pit. I'd still be in my Garden of Gethsemane. And so many people are there   
  
right now. And so many people don't know that they are. People go around, spending   
  
thousands on Life Insurance. Eternal Life Assurance is worth much more. How much would   
  
you pay for it? Your career? A month's salary? Two hours every Sunday in an uncomfortable   
  
bench? Twenty-four ninety-five? Well, guess what. It's free. Don't be fooled! It didn't start that   
  
way! Your soul belongs to the Devil! He doesn't want to give you away. The only way to be far   
  
from him is perfection - and it's absolutely impossible to be perfect. Ever lie? Even a little fib?   
  
Well then, too late. You're not perfect. But Jesus was perfect. Not one lie. Never cheated.   
  
Never stole. He already had Heaven; He was God's Son. But He came down and earned it.   
  
What for? So He could give it to you. For the special introductory price of free. The only   
  
difference between this introductory price and the introductory price of your local gym is that is   
  
never goes up. It's always free. You can't do anything to save yourself. Only Jesus' sacrifice   
  
can save you. I don't know who will read this essay. And yes, in these last few sentences, I   
  
know I am breaking every rule of good essay writing. The biggest of all - I am addressing the   
  
audience personally. Big whoop. (There goes the rule about not being informal.) You know   
  
why? When I see my savior face to face, and if by then you are also no longer on Earth, and   
  
had never received Christ, you cannot stare up at me in heaven and ask why I didn't tell you,   
  
when I had such a huge chance. People are constantly asking God to do something - send an   
  
angel, a ghost, anyone to tell humankind the whole truth. The angels asked for that job, too. But   
  
God thought you'd prefer one of your own to tell you. Here's your sign. You want someone to   
  
go to heaven and come back? Here I am. God has whispered something in my ear, and told me   
  
to tell you. He wants you. He wants you so badly that He put me in a position to tell you. Don't   
  
delay. "Don't put off until the twelfth hour, Jesus may return on the eleventh." God wants you.   
  
You know that you've sinned. You know that Jesus is the only way to salvation. Pray! Tell   
  
God that you know that. Accept Him in your heart. Ask Him to make you a New Creature   
  
through Christ Jesus. He won't ignore you!   
  
"So you will be saved, if you honestly say, 'Jesus is Lord,' and if you believe with all your heart   
  
that God raised Him from the death. God will accept you and save you, if you truly believe this and tell it to   
  
others." Romans 10:9-10   
  
I know what I'm talking about - I once was you! But you can be assured of salvation   
  
through Jesus Christ. So throw it all down. Ask Him to come into your heart. He will. He   
  
promises. He knows all you've done. He wants you anyway! This is the same man who   
  
forgave the adulterous wife, the corrupt tax collector, and even the religious know-it-all (and   
  
I'm talking about someone worse than me!). Read the Book (The Bible). Romans, John, its all   
  
there. You can feel Him tugging at your heart! Don't think because this was written before the   
  
fact that I don't know what's happening right now, as you read this. God wants you. He won't   
  
leave you alone about this. If you ignore this, don't be surprised to start thinking about this   
  
message at the strangest times. At work; when you wake up from a sleep; in the bathroom.   
  
God is not going to stop tugging. He is not going to leave you alone until He saves you. But He   
  
can't make the decision for you. If there are a billion steps between you and God, He'll take   
  
away every step and leave the last one. Only you can take out the last one. I urge you to do it   
  
now. Don't put this off! God wants you to enjoy a life filled with The Reason For Living - Him!   
  
"Please forgive me if I come on too strong. I get a little anxious when I talk about God's Love. Hold me back   
  
now, stop me if I start to preach, cause I don't want to be the one to put you out of reach!"   
  
- Jaci Velasquez "Show You Love" 


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